diff --git a/src/d_player.h b/src/d_player.h
index e4aded95b..1813918f0 100644
--- a/src/d_player.h
+++ b/src/d_player.h
@@ -366,6 +366,15 @@ typedef struct squishdance_s
 	fixed_t bounce;    // hehe squishy
 } squishdance_t;
 
+typedef struct salty_s
+{
+	bool ready;
+	bool tapping;
+	fixed_t zoffset;
+	fixed_t momz;
+	bool jump;
+} salty_t;
+
 // ========================================================================
 //                          PLAYER STRUCTURE
 // ========================================================================
@@ -561,6 +570,9 @@ typedef struct player_s
 
 	fixed_t spinoutrot; // When a player spins out, this value increments modulus 360.
 
+	// saltyhop! hardcode edition
+	salty_t salty;
+
 	squishdance_t squishdance;
 
 	fixed_t fovadd; // adjust FOV for hw rendering
diff --git a/src/k_kart.c b/src/k_kart.c
index aaa5b4962..ebd6dc4d8 100644
--- a/src/k_kart.c
+++ b/src/k_kart.c
@@ -71,12 +71,11 @@ consvar_t cv_stairjank = {"stairjank", "Off", CV_SAVE|CV_CALL, CV_OnOff, PDistor
 consvar_t cv_stairjanksfx = {"stairjanksfx", "Off", CV_SAVE, CV_OnOff, NULL, 0, NULL, NULL, 0, 0, NULL};
 
 //hardcode saltyhop mhhm
-static void saltyhop_onchange(void);
-consvar_t cv_saltyhop = {"hardcodehop", "Off", CV_SAVE|CV_CALL|CV_NOINIT, CV_OnOff, saltyhop_onchange, 0, NULL, NULL, 0, 0, NULL};
+consvar_t cv_saltyhop = {"hardcodehop", "Off", CV_SAVE, CV_OnOff, NULL, 0, NULL, NULL, 0, 0, NULL};
 consvar_t cv_saltyhopsfx = {"hardcodehopsfx", "On", CV_SAVE, CV_OnOff, NULL, 0, NULL, NULL, 0, 0, NULL};
 consvar_t cv_saltysquish = {"hardcodehopsquish", "On", CV_SAVE, CV_OnOff, NULL, 0, NULL, NULL, 0, 0, NULL};
 static CV_PossibleValue_t saltyheight_t[] = {{FRACUNIT/4, "MIN"}, {2*FRACUNIT, "MAX"}, {0, NULL}};
-consvar_t cv_saltyheight = {"hardcodehopheight", "1", CV_FLOAT|CV_SAVE|CV_CALL|CV_NOINIT, saltyheight_t, saltyhop_onchange, 0, NULL, NULL, 0, 0, NULL};
+consvar_t cv_saltyheight = {"hardcodehopheight", "1", CV_FLOAT|CV_SAVE, saltyheight_t, NULL, 0, NULL, NULL, 0, 0, NULL};
 consvar_t cv_saltyroll = {"hardcodehoproll", "Off", CV_SAVE, CV_OnOff, NULL, 0, NULL, NULL, 0, 0, NULL};
 
 consvar_t cv_squishdance = {"squishdance", "On", CV_SAVE, CV_OnOff, NULL, 0, NULL, NULL, 0, 0, NULL};
@@ -84,23 +83,6 @@ consvar_t cv_squishdance = {"squishdance", "On", CV_SAVE, CV_OnOff, NULL, 0, NUL
 static CV_PossibleValue_t squishdancespeed_cons_t[] = {{20, "MIN"}, {280, "MAX"}, {0, NULL}};
 consvar_t cv_squishdancespeed = {"squishdance_speed", "140", CV_SAVE, squishdancespeed_cons_t, NULL, 0, NULL, NULL, 0, 0, NULL};
 
-static void saltyhop_onchange(void)
-{
-	// reset everything when toggling saltyhop
-	if (gamestate != GS_LEVEL)
-		return;
-
-	for (INT32 i = 0; i < MAXPLAYERS; i++)
-	{
-		player_t *player = &players[i];
-
-		if (!player || P_MobjWasRemoved(player->mo))
-			continue;
-
-		memset(&player->mo->salty, 0, sizeof(player->mo->salty));
-	}
-}
-
 // SOME IMPORTANT VARIABLES DEFINED IN DOOMDEF.H:
 // gamespeed is cc (0 for easy, 1 for normal, 2 for hard)
 // franticitems is Frantic Mode items, bool
@@ -2194,7 +2176,7 @@ static void K_GetKartBoostPower(player_t *player)
 
 		// Technically, all mobjs that think can cause desynchs if they are spawned conditionally, so best we can do
 		// is to hide them if you are in saltyhop jump
-		if (dust && player->mo->salty.jump)
+		if (dust && player->salty.jump)
 			dust->flags2 |= MF2_DONTDRAW;
 
 		if (leveltime % 6 == 0)
@@ -3404,88 +3386,92 @@ static void K_SaltySquish(player_t *player)
 
 static void K_QuiteSaltyHop(player_t *player)
 {
-	if (!cv_saltyhop.value)
-		return;
+	I_Assert(player != NULL);
+	I_Assert(!P_MobjWasRemoved(player->mo));
 
 	// what the fuck is this haya
 	mobj_t *pmo = player->mo;
-	salty_t *psalt = &pmo->salty;
+	salty_t *psalty = &player->salty;
+
+	if (!cv_saltyhop.value)
+	{
+		// reset before we leave
+		psalty->jump = psalty->ready = psalty->tapping = false;
+		psalty->momz = psalty->zoffset = 0;
+		return;
+	}
+
 	const boolean onground = P_IsObjectOnGround(pmo);
 
 	// ready?
 	if (!player->kartstuff[k_jmp])
 	{
-		psalt->ready = true;
-		psalt->tapping = false;
+		psalty->ready = true;
+		psalty->tapping = false;
 	}
-	else if (psalt->ready)
+	else if (psalty->ready)
 	{
-		psalt->ready = false;
-		psalt->tapping = true;
+		psalty->ready = false;
+		psalty->tapping = true;
 	}
 	else
 	{
-		psalt->tapping = false;
+		psalty->tapping = false;
 	}
 
 	// GO!
-	if (!psalt->init)
-	{
-		psalt->jump = false;
-		psalt->zoffset = 0;
-		psalt->momz = 0;
-		psalt->init = true;
-	}
-	else if (psalt->jump)
+	if (psalty->jump)
 	{
 		if (pmo->eflags & MFE_JUSTHITFLOOR)
 		{
-			psalt->zoffset = 0;
+			psalty->zoffset = 0;
 		}
 		else if (onground)
 		{
-			psalt->zoffset += psalt->momz;
-			psalt->momz -= (FRACUNIT*3/2);
+			psalty->zoffset += psalty->momz;
+			psalty->momz -= (FRACUNIT*3/2);
 		}
 		else
 		{
-			psalt->zoffset *= (49/50)*FRACUNIT;
-			psalt->momz = 0;
+			//psalty->zoffset *= (49/50)*FRACUNIT; // this just rounds down to 0 lol
+			psalty->zoffset = 0;
+			psalty->momz = 0;
 		}
 
-		if (psalt->zoffset <= 0)
+		if (psalty->zoffset <= 0)
 		{
 			if (cv_saltyhopsfx.value && !(pmo->eflags & MFE_JUSTHITFLOOR) && onground)
 				S_StartSound(pmo, sfx_s268);
-			psalt->jump = false;
-			psalt->zoffset = 0;
-			psalt->momz = 0;
+			psalty->jump = false;
+			psalty->zoffset = 0;
+			psalty->momz = 0;
 			// shlamma damma
 			if (cv_saltysquish.value)
 				pmo->stretchslam += 8*FRACUNIT;
 		}
-		else if (cv_saltysquish.value && psalt->zoffset >= 0)
+		else if (psalty->zoffset > 0)
 		{
-			// goofy ahh hack
-			pmo->spriteyscale += (FRACUNIT/8);
-			pmo->spritexscale -= (FRACUNIT/8);
+			if (cv_saltysquish.value)
+			{
+				// goofy ahh hack
+				pmo->spriteyscale += (FRACUNIT/8);
+				pmo->spritexscale -= (FRACUNIT/8);
+			}
 		}
 
-		pmo->spriteyoffset += FixedMul(psalt->zoffset, cv_saltyheight.value);
+		pmo->spriteyoffset += FixedMul(psalty->zoffset, cv_saltyheight.value);
 
-		if (cv_saltyhopsfx.value)
-		{
-			if (S_SoundPlaying(pmo, sfx_screec))
-				S_StopSoundByID(pmo, sfx_screec);
-			if (S_SoundPlaying(pmo, sfx_drift))
-				S_StopSoundByID(pmo, sfx_drift);
-		}
+		// Stop any and all drift sounds when hopping.
+		if (S_SoundPlaying(pmo, sfx_screec))
+			S_StopSoundByID(pmo, sfx_screec);
+		if (S_SoundPlaying(pmo, sfx_drift))
+			S_StopSoundByID(pmo, sfx_drift);
 	}
-	else if (psalt->tapping && onground && !player->kartstuff[k_spinouttimer] && !player->kartstuff[k_squishedtimer])
+	else if (psalty->tapping && onground && !player->kartstuff[k_spinouttimer] && !player->kartstuff[k_squishedtimer])
 	{
-		psalt->jump = true;
-		psalt->zoffset = 0;
-		psalt->momz = 6*FRACUNIT;
+		psalty->jump = true;
+		psalty->zoffset = 0;
+		psalty->momz = 6*FRACUNIT;
 		if (cv_saltyhopsfx.value)
 			S_StartSound(pmo, sfx_s25a);
 	}
@@ -3512,7 +3498,7 @@ boolean K_ShouldSlopeRoll(mobj_t *mobj)
 		return false;
 
 	// seeing a character rotate mid-hop looks really janky
-	if (!cv_saltyroll.value && mobj->player && mobj->player->mo->salty.jump)
+	if (!cv_saltyroll.value && mobj->player && mobj->player->salty.jump)
 		return false;
 
 	return K_CheckSlopeRollDist(mobj);
diff --git a/src/p_mobj.h b/src/p_mobj.h
index face77ed2..d05457052 100644
--- a/src/p_mobj.h
+++ b/src/p_mobj.h
@@ -266,15 +266,6 @@ typedef enum {
 	PCF_THUNK     = 1<<5, // Ran the thinker this tic.
 } precipflag_t;
 
-typedef struct salty_s
-{
-	bool init;
-	bool ready;
-	bool tapping;
-	fixed_t zoffset;
-	fixed_t momz;
-	bool jump;
-} salty_t;
 
 // Map Object definition.
 typedef struct mobj_s
@@ -412,9 +403,6 @@ typedef struct mobj_s
 
 	tic_t slamsoundtimer; // Funni slam sound when landing
 
-	// saltyhop! hardcode edition
-	salty_t salty;
-
 	// WARNING: New fields must be added separately to savegame and Lua.
 	boolean islocal; // BEWARE: islocal does not exist in vanilla, strictly to be used for locally loaded addons to not cause desynchs with the mobj linedef trigger check. DO NOT USE THIS IN ACTUAL ADDONS YOU INTEND TO USE ON YOUR SERVER
 } mobj_t;
diff --git a/src/p_user.c b/src/p_user.c
index ee1d45525..2fc5260e1 100644
--- a/src/p_user.c
+++ b/src/p_user.c
@@ -4518,7 +4518,7 @@ static void P_DoFunnyDance(player_t *player)
 {
 	fixed_t bpm; // 140bpm ish
 
-	if (player->spectator || !player->mo || player->kartstuff[k_respawn] || player->mo->salty.jump) // this looks jank as hell during hop
+	if (player->spectator || !player->mo || player->kartstuff[k_respawn] || player->salty.jump) // this looks jank as hell during hop
 		return;
 
 	player->squishdance.bounce = 0;